Monday, March 21, 2011

Not Confucius

Not Confucius

Starting this tumblr to share my way of thought. Hopefully, I can stick to this.

-David M.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

On Becoming the Self Made Man

***I've been meaning to write on this topic, this seems like a great time to bring it up.

A New Year is just around the corner and I can't help but think, it's time to start anew. I find it a bit symbolic that I ended school at the end of a decade, and the start of my "life". It ended and began in 2010, note that it ended with a 0. It feels a bit monumental (at least to me).

This year has been both joyous to me and also an eye opener. I guess it can be said it was a pretty bittersweet year. I mean, I think almost every year seems bittersweet to me; you always have your good and your bad. However, this year is different, the things that has happened has been more or less my actions and I have time to reflect on that.

The ending of my college life has definitely has been a bittersweet experience. I've made friends throughout my life and they have come and go. So far, every time we are at the tangent of parting ways, I tell myself to be some pivotal part of their life. A friend that still stay in contact. So far, I think I'm doing a better a job at that. Though, I think I was on some sort of high while in school. It was easier to communicate and being good at what I was doing. Though, it just seems like a fancy now, school is such a controlled environment, it's nothing like the real world; it's more competitive, which I was aware. I felt like I was invincible that I was bound for something. However, post-graduation I see it was a lot tougher than expected and I'm sobering up. Took some time off and evaluated myself and tuning myself up for the following year and I hope not to fall short on that promise to myself.

On returning to campus a few times, I do feel a bit out of place. I don't know if it's my age or that I'm an alum and I should be out there doing something besides loitering. I'm sure it's not age, there are much older undergrads than me. I just can't help that while I'm still looking for a new routine, I'm wasting time. Though to be a bit of an optimist every moment is an opportunity, though I don't know what exactly good will come of chatting away my time besides the slight opportunity of stumbling onto a new acquaintance and a new venture.

However, the most important thing that was resounded in me is, we are not entitled to anything. Even if we did our best, we are not entitled to anything AT ALL. Though, there is always the slight glimmer in the back of my head that good things come to good people (which I still do), we shouldn't take defeat so hardly. We are not always at fault. It takes two to tangle and it takes another foot to walk in front of the other, and no I'm not saying it's the other person's fault either; there are always factors. As Conan O'Brien said for his closing remark on the Tonight Show, "All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen." Words I'll live by for the rest of my life.

Not to get television involved, but what I've seen on television and in the media really have helped me. I don't want to sound like a television junkie, but it really did help me paint a picture of what it is I need to do, how I should focus.

This year Conan lost his job, despite huge pushes favoring him he still lost it. Someone that was so dedicated to a network where he spent most of his life in, it must have been a huge stab at his heart. Reading and watching the interviews I can tell how deeply he was hurt by the decision, he didn't know what to do. Something so ingrained in your life has ended, what happens now? For him it was his show, for me it was school. He decided to go on a tour. I'm still trying to find an equivalent. I want to start on projects, but at the same time I want to find some kind of work so I can have funds; as much as I'm considered to be an artist, I don't to be a starving one, haha. Nine months later he got a new gig and he seems as happy as ever.

As much I am no Don Draper, I still see a lot of his struggles similar to mine sans the drinking, the adultery, the lying, but just who he is, who he is trying to be. Nevertheless he is a flawed character, he's only trying to be better. This season in particular I find to be the most interesting (SPOILERS). After losing, the firm, his wife, the house, etc. He starts life anew, he slowly tries become a better person, the person he wants to be. In the end, he kind of falls short, but I see him trying and it's hard. Also, one line that resonated with me was during the finale when one character justified they had every right to start a new life, but was rebuttal with, "There is no fresh start, lives carry on."

Why did I mentioned these two? They're both people within 2010 who has lost something they have been so accustom to and both have to make anew. I'm sure it's a time for a lot of self-reflecting. Something better is down the road. I have to work at it. The last couple months, the thought of, "I have to make something of myself." Has been the center of my thought process. At times, it's a bit depressing because I was at the same place I was at yesterday.

To sum this up, this is more of the biography to my resolution of the coming year. It's an end of a decade, and a new one will follow. I've failed and I learned; hopefully. I hope to make 2011 a progressive year. Not to say I'm going sky rocket to the top by this time next year, but I hope to make a leap, and bounds to follow afterwards. This is a testament I will commit myself to. The year is 2011, the year David Mei made something of himself.

No excuses in 2011, just keep moving forward.

-David M.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Experience of Life

Not trying to write well thought out cohesive thoughts. Just thoughts...

You would expect people to become less dependent of you as time goes by, no, they become more. You think that if you change yourself things will be better. That's half the battle, if the people around you aren't willing to change. Not much can progress when the other leg does not follow. When your eagerness is seen a naivety and your progress is viewed as laziness...

-David M.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The F Word

In recent events, I think I have shown my true colors; not as if they were bad, a bit of earth tones and black and white, I'm sure we were aware of that to begin with. I'm happy these people confide in me. It's my greatest pride to be a good person even though sometime I don't see eye to eye with that part of me at times. I like to thank those that made me realize that. You don't know how much joy that is put into my heart. As much as I want my life to consist of a great career and a surplus of wealth, the one thing I would not give up is being a good human being. Maybe I'm patting myself on the back a little too much, but I just wanted to say as much.

Also, I found a great way to express these feelings.

In case you didn't know, the f word was meant to be friend.

-David M.

Monday, September 6, 2010

The Suitcase

Watching last night's episode of Mad Men made me realize a few things. I mean things that were already on my mind, but it made me realize how strong these thoughts actually are. I openly admit how silly a topic may seem, especially when you compare life to a television show. However, there is a difference between good writing and just over fascination; Mad Men is not the later. In this episode, after a few self struggle, you really see the main character Don Draper hit the bottom of the barrel and completely detached from reality. Why? Not willing to face reality? It's hard to face reality when one falls from grace. Despite still having what makes him the man he is, he is still at a lost. What does that all mean? He is who he is, still charming, skilled and he is who he is, the face of the agency. However, he does not face his losses. Till last night's episode which is probably the best episode in the season by far.

I did a little self-reflecting as I was watching the scene where Don breaks down. I thought to myself, a man isn't a man until he has faced humility. However, that may sound we all have to face it sometime, it's only natural that we lose a battle, even more than one. Accepting that loss is all about becoming better. In the new season, you see that he isn't willing to accept his loss he's going about in a self-destructive manner which in the end made him hit rock bottom, but like they say all clouds have a silver lining. We make light of these situations and we come out of these things better people.

I too felt like I've fallen off the high horse since graduation, life itself seems like a vast ocean now and the current can easily sweep me away. Trying to not think much of it, but the thought creeps up on you and it becomes strange. I've been a little off in my habits, but I've been getting myself back on a regiment. I have to push myself, spruce myself, and in the end better myself. Life is a dark place, but there are people out there that lighten things up.

-David M.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


I probably say this too often, but I feel like life is like a television series. A well written script and cast of interesting and not so interesting character. Sometimes the plot is predictable and sometimes it comes out of left field. If we were to diagram events of our lives, we'll find a string of interesting information. I have been saying recently, "it's a new season, new cast, new everything."

I feel like this is going to be a reboot of my story. People are different, more so than they seem. I understand things so much more. A new scene to be filmed, a new story to tell. The last couple months has seem a bit different for me. I think it's because I have been going about things differently and I did enjoy the events of the summer very much. I can't wait to see how the next couple months unfold. What twist will arise. Who is returning, who is new, who is just making a cameo. A new season has started and it's completely different from any other.

-David M.

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Return: A String of Thoughts to Live By

Just thoughts that have been sitting around. Maybe I should share...

In my moments of weakness I realize I have to be stronger.
We all have our demons, we have to know what they are.
We all have seen the light, but how many of us has turned around to see the shadow it casts?
Perspiration is the result of how much work we put into things physically, tears is the result of how much work we put into things emotionally.
Bricks make nice walls.
If you fall, you are the only one to pick yourself up.

I should write these down as they come instead of banking it on memory.

-David M.