End of Spring 09: A Quarter Left

Is a seasonal thing...I end the semester with a note; recollections.

Grab some pop corn if you're actually going to read this.

Class Summaries:
AD307 Electronic Visualization II: 305 was an awesome class and Daniel is an awesome professor; should take his class if you're in A+D, but if you don't like coding this isn't your piece of cake. The class discusses information aesthetics and I think it is a topic worth exploring. Wish there were more active participant in the class, would had made the class more interesting.

AD309 Advanced Topics in Modeling and Animation: If there were only more time to work on projects oppose to tutorials the class would had seem like less of a hell. Sabrina still needs to up her enthusiasm in the class. She doesn't have the most captivating voice. Though, I would say I learned a lot in the class, just not how to be productive in that class.

AD230 Painting: I did not know painting was such an expensive (and toxic) hobby. I knew it was time consuming, but that's about it. Other then the heckle of the over-hyper TA didn't make the class all that enjoyable. I did like building stretchers, but the class took too much time, more than required. However, on a side note, Julia is the sweetest old lady I've met.

AH236 History of Design: The same old routine, a long Friday morning of hearing Robin speak super fast. Though, a lot didn't stick compare to last semester. After she left for maternity leave over Spring Break the guest professor (don't even know her name), did even less so to captivate the class. I know the TA still suck too. The class seemed so crunched on time when it came to exams compared with last semester.

COMM 140: Communications in Media: Have I ever hated a class so much? Maybe MUS 107. The class seem redundant and remedial in the way that the people in class regurgitated the information. Things in the media I'm already aware of. It wasn't a stimulating class for me, being in there just made me want to get out. I hate it when people think things that come out of their mouth are the smartest thing they've said; it isn't.

So, I'll begin here.

This semester was probably the hardest semester I had to deal with. A lot of things didn't really go my way, and what more can I say, "things happen." Though, during the semester I come to judge the quality of a lot of characteristics of people, though in the end I spent the last couple weeks judging the validity of characteristics. I'm not better than the next person, and that's exactly what made this semester, so, hard. I wish I was able to juggle a couple obstacles that were presented this semester more effectively, but I didn't. When I tell some people that I'm just having a hard time, their response would be, "You're David Mei" as if I'm some what extraordinary; in the end I'm nothing special. I found myself making a lot of compromises this semester, mainly on projects and maybe my own leisure time. Sorry, if I might seem dodgey about what I'm talking about, I just am about certain topics.

A certain fear I have when I meet people is how is a good thing. Not to sound emo, but good things in my life usually turn sour pretty quick, or at least I somehow slip up. Maybe, I'm not much of a people person. Makes me wonder why I try; maybe I just want to learn and stop making the same mistake with people. I think I was able to append old relations with people, but along the way I think I broke a few this semester.

Though, one of the greatest thing I learned about myself this semester is that I set up certain boundaries in places I made mistakes in. Recently I realize it was all a psychological thing, and I've been holding myself back in some silly childish fear. As of now, I think I'm going to make it my goal to crush existing borders I placed on myself. I must admit I'm still hesitant and restrain from doing so. I've been telling myself the last couple days that I have to GET OVER MYSELF. I'm my own biggest obstacle and I'm just being stupid holding myself back.

Overall, I think there were a couple great instances throughout the semester that reminded me that there are people and things that I can still look forward to, despite simultaneous events that were going on. I am always thankful for the people that has made me smile, laugh, and felt welcomed. The last couple years had made me realized there is much others can do for you, and I can do for them. I'm still learning to reciprocate by my own means. This is still all a learning process, I'm bound to mess up along the way.

All in all, I hit more walls then I had ever hit in one semester. It wasn't the best semester, I'll admit it was a pretty shitty semester; shittiest one to date. It had is highlighting moments and I'm extremely grateful for that, but still this semester was very hard to get through. I compromised a lot and I'm not happy with a lot of end results (ie projects). Hopefully, next semester will be something to look forward to.

Speaking of which, I'm 3/4 complete with my time at UIC and I've grown quite attached with everyone. The last 3 years has definitely been the most enjoyable part of my life, and I hope the coming years would be enjoyable as well. I hope beyond this following year that I am able to maintain these relations I made. I've been so bad at keeping in touch with people, I'm a bit fearful about it. Not as fearful as I am of the real world however.

Thanks for reading,

-David M.

For Lack of a Better Title: "BAH!"

I know I should be slaving away on my computer and I had no intentions of writing anything new till the end of this week, but I'm thinking this is note worthy. Other than the last 2 days slaving inside the AA building with little interaction with the outside world, I only got "SO MUCH" done. Though, I think I've set up the foundation for a quicker pipeline; lets hope so.

The last couple of days felt like Spring, which made the days a little easier to bear. Though, it still doesn't stop the firing of a thousand ideas.

Lately, I felt like I've been stuck in a rut, not because of just one thing, but the accumulation of many other little problems becoming the megazord of all conscious thoughts. Luckily, they haven't manifested themselves into some strange dream that will only lead me to more confusion. Maybe after all this, I can look forward to a strange dream.

Today, as I was working, I didn't know if it was frustration or excitement that I was feeling as I was clicking away on my computer, I think it was a good mixture between the two, as there was drastic pushing and pulling from each end.

As I thought, all this clutter calls for a lunch break. Who would have known coincidence would work in such a strange way; god always want to slap you in the face when you least expect it. What I was hoping to be a lunch where I sit and think of methods, and techniques of approaching my project. I was stuck thinking of "feelings", as I was eating. I guess I would not elaborate anymore about this.

Got back to the lab, and working on the project seem to have been working in my favor. I got a lot of things the was being funky to work. Though, at the end of the day I only manage to get 20 seconds of footage into the render farm. I hope they turn out alright.

As I was leaving, the Spring wind and the fragrance in the air made me realized I sacrificed a nice Spring day on my laptop.

As I was waiting at the bus stop, I saw my cousin-in-law Ken making deliveries on campus. I stopped to talk to him, as he was offering me a ride home, the bus approaches. I asked him to drive me down to Taylor, so, I won't disrupt his deliveries. As I got out, the bus was approaching, and I was on the street, the bus driver pointed me to go wait for the bus on the corner. I got on, and got a lecture, but the driver was probably the nicest driver I had encounter. She was chatting with the passengers as they got on. I guess, that was nice to see on my way home.

Anyways, sleep deprecation will probably start tonight. I hope I'm conscious as I meet el mayor tomorrow.

-David M.

Target: Easter

I was planning to go to the local Target (The one on Roosevelt) today to get some a tube of Neosporin for a cut that I got from my xacto on Tuesday; I know is a bit late. Also, some fabric glue for my dad. When I entered the parking lot, I found the lot to be desolate. It seem almost apocalyptic, even though society was still functioning outside. The empty second floor lot made it seem like scene from a Fast and Furious or Transporter film; I wished I had a camera on me, it was a rare sight. Other cars, entered the lot only to be confused.

The bigger question is, Why is Target closed on Easter!?

-David M.

Odd Dreams...

Last night I had a dream, it was bit odd. No, it was not a strange as my normal dream, does that make it more odd than previous dreams?

Regardless of such, I had a dream about someone I haven't consciously thought about, or at least I would like to think about it that way. Though, it wasn't anything noteworthy, it was still a good dream. It was just a conversation, though parts of the dialogue has become extremely vague at this point; it was still reminiscent of something familiar (Yes, I'm being vague here for a reason too). It was pleasant however, that rarely happens.

Though, there was a strange flip in channels afterwards. I ended up being in a room handcuffed to someone in a room with 6 other people cuffed in pairs, and one person watching over us. Turns out it was a zombie scenario, and when the siren went off the people cuffed somehow broke free, and I stayed behind. No relevance either, but probably should be mentioned as well.

I wonder what will I dream about tonight?

-David M.

Memo:...

I don't know who reads this now. Though, I'm aware my last few posts have little of interest to do anything, and mainly more or less some negative thoughts I've been harboring in my mind. If you're reading, I guess the most I can say I'm thankful, you care to read at least, if not a little. I do apologize, if it is a side of me you're not use to associating me with.

Though, little by little I find the words I have to say today loses its relevance by the next day or so. I still need to get my thoughts out somewhere, somehow. This blog is an odd therapy, but I'm aware people will read this. I'm aware perceptions of me will changed.

Just saying...

-David M.

Friday: A Case of Strange Happenings

Upon returning yesterday, besides the overall poor reception of the new history of design, the day was a bit off; in all kinds of way.

I found yesterday's arrival on campus to be a strange a return. Though, I've only been gone for 2 days it felt like I have not been present for a while. The "welcoming", was also strange (for lack of a better word for welcoming and the word strange). I felt strangely disconnected from a lot of people yesterday; odd to say I was hoping to find better footing on my last post, but it feels like I've completely fallen of the horse. A few people that knew asked, "How are you?" stimulated a strange after thought, how am I? Of course I'm still fine, but the tonality of it seems detached. Everything seems detached. Strings are cut, to say the least. I wonder if Monday, is going to be any different?

After all my classes, the campus seems emptied, and barren. I took my trip to the Home Depot to get a 2x4 to build my stretchers for painting. On the way down on Roosevelt , I saw a blind lady arguing with a homeless man (the one's that peddle by the expressway); the blind lady actually instigated the argument. It was strange to see a blind person argue. Though, I did not pick up the start of the conversation, I heard the argument arose. The lady was crossing the street with her dog, the homeless man telling her to move a little to the right, the lady stopped to tell the homeless man, "mind your own business and let my dog do its job." She stood in the middle of the expressway arguing with the man, as the light turned red. I watched to see if she made it across the street.

After I dug through a bunch of 2x4s with promising fronts, but rotted backings I found one; not the best, but it'll do. On my way back to campus carrying 7' 1/2 long 2x4 I saw the blind lady coming back in my direction, the homeless man was no longer at his post.

I spent the last hour and a half working on building the stretcher only to be done with the frames; Monday, is going to be another work day.

EDIT: On the way home on the bus, I was looking out the window, I noticed some girl with terrible make-up that from far away it looks like she's wearing sunglasses with the polarized shades. Up close, it was just make up.

As I got home, my friend Teng decided to fix up his old yellow bike. I told him of a bike shop Nik mentioned to me a while back; I might as well check it out. We were off to Nearly New Bikes.

Taking the scenic route on Halsted we slowly made our way up north. [Edit]As we passed Harrison at UIC, we saw a group of people enjoying live role playing with padded swords and all. [/EDIT] On the way up north, we saw a man on his horse and carriage traveling south in front of the northern project building. Strange, no?

In the course of waiting for the guys to finish changing his tires, the guys at bike shops were pretty good and friendly. The guy Jim, seems like a very hard worker and a great father, as he was telling us stories of his kids when he was working on the bike. They had good taste in music, as I walked in I heard Todd Rundren's, Hello Its Me playing in the shop as I lightly sung the chorus; one of my favorite songs.

By the time we got back (around 8), we decided to take his bike out for a spin, I went to grab my bike and we took my short route around. The center point of the route was Ping Tom Park, and by the time we reached the end of the park, I was telling him stories about my little biking trips. I told him how one time I was biking through the end of the park, and circling back, there was a couple that was making out, and how awkward it was to circle around them just to get back.

Making back to the other side of the park, which is the playground I normally circle through there when there aren't kids around. As I came around the corner, I see two people on the slide making out; speak of the devil. When we got out of the park we just laughed about it. NOTE THIS PART if you're reading.

As we came to the end of the route, Teng gets a call to see Fast and Furious, and so we put away the bikes, and waited at the gas station. The hypothetical 4 minutes turned out to have been much longer. While, at the gas station the owner son's was making fun of Teng; it killed some time.

When Henry finally arrived, we got the reason for the delay. He was dropping off Phil's girl. [RECALL THE NOTE] Henry was angry at Phil for making us late, and even more so for not telling him where he was to pick him up. He waited 15 minutes after agreeing to drop off his girl in front of his house. Only to call him to found out he was in Ping Tom. Guess who Phil saw at Ping Tom? Teng and I. So, those dam teenagers was Phil and whoever that was. We were laughing at what a small world it was. Henry was mad that we were late.

Fast and Furious was probably the worse of the franchise, not to say the franchise was the best to begin with. I was expecting as much, as everyone would be revving their cars and driving fast shortly after. Heck, two cars were dragging when we were gassing up.

Friday, was a strange day...

-David M.

The Funeral...

The Wake and the Service occurred during the events of the last two days. As abrupt as the date was chosen for the wake and the service, was abrupt as the events in itself. Coordination was poor, and again I question my criticality on people. As the wake started at 2PM yesterday, a couple tears shed in the family and we sat down. Waiting for visitors, they were far between.

A few things (and I'll just keep it to a few), My mom and my aunts have no idea on what to do during a funeral. The bratty granddaughter still a brat during the whole event; is it so hard to not run around the whole funeral home when your grandfather is dead?

Today, during the service I have never seen so much chaos in organizing as I did today. My aunts didn't know exactly what they were doing, so did my mother. Organizing the service to happen around 9-11, and having a luncheon around 4:30? Traditionally, from what I learned today, is you give a red envelope to those who attended to the service during the meal following...however the meal was a good 4 hours between the service, and by that time they would have eaten or gotten on with the rest of the day. On the way back from the service, there was also a lack of directions given to the people attending. Apparently, people were suppose to stop by the home, but a lot of people did not know where to go.

Evidence being, one person would say something, and another would say something else. Confusion pursues...I know such an event usually consists of a lot of silence, but in the end there was nothing, but noise. I would describe my mother and aunts as being a bunch of headless chickens, because they were wandering aimlessly. I was not the only one that was frustrated with the arrangements, all the in-laws were too.

Over the course of the last two days, I have been reviewing actions of certain members of the family (mainly my generation), and they seem to not have put much thought into the magnitude of such a day. Maybe, I have been to hard on myself, and on others I really don't know.

This closes another chapter in my life, I hope that I can find a better footing in my own life now.

-David M.