So, today I found out that my grandfather's only option now is to have surgery and have a tube inserted directly to his stomach. What seems like the logical next move, the family seems a bit hesitant to move forward. They tell me I'm too young to understand, but I really don't see it that way. They're afraid there will be complications with surgery or that due to his age, they believe he won't be able to make it. Here is where I found the family to be a bit naive, because from my understanding a doctor would always consider the patient's physical ability before performing open surgery. Right now, they're just playing their cards based off fear, which is probably the most ignorant thing once can do. If I was in his shoes I would much rather take the surgery over the possibility of starving to death. Yet, in the end they say I'm a bit naive or I'm too young to understand the matter. In the end, the only thing that is right about the situation is that the only one that should decide on his well being is his own children.
Though, today has sparked back some memories. The only 2 people in my family to die in my life time. One was my grandfather (paternal) was due to the fact that he decided to go back to the homeland and live in the backwater village he grew up in. Away from the U.S. where he could have been given proper medical treatment and probably still be alive now. I was 14 at the time and I was one of the few to have actually seen him before his passing 2 months later, all my family said was if he was still living in the U.S. he would had been in better shape. Second, was my cousin who died because of cancer at I believe at the age of 30 leaving behind her only daughter. Which leaves me to think I have a better opinion on the matter than my parents. I would remember how ignorant my parents would act when she would visit cause she had cancer, she would bring snacks over sometimes and just sit and talk with them. Shortly, after they left my mother would take the snacks and immediately dump them in the garbage can cause she believed cancer was contagious or at least something like karma. They can't seem to understand a lot of things, yet they know what is best. That doesn't make much sense does it? I really don't understand their logic, yet I'm also not in the same shoes as them. All I know is this is going to drag throughout the years, and is going to take a toll from me, regardless of my participation with their politics or not.
As much as I don't want this to be a weight/ an excuse for me to not be able to do certain things, it will be. I guess I have to go against the current.
-David M.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Miscommunication, Superstitution, Stupidity...The Whole Nine Yards
When I think things are clearing and school life comes butting is way back in. Family life comes back again once again. As I mentioned earlier before my grandfather has a tumor in his esophagus. Though, it causes it an issue, the doctor giving the diagnosis did not indicate the size of the tumor; is 6cm roughly 2.36 inches in which I did not find out till tonight. Now that would call for immediate attention.
As of now he has evasive cancer, and I simply do not know what that means. I thought as least my whole maternal side of the family knows. Apparently there has been a huge miscommunication on my grandfather's condition, and I blame their sense of communication or their attentiveness to the previous hospital stay. Though, the tumor issue I did not found out till 3 weeks ago. My family themselves did not want to do anything till after Chinese New Years, I think is all cause of bad mojo or whatever; Chinese traditionalist can be very superstitious. Regardless as such, my grandfather has been having a harder time ingesting. Which, leads to tonight's entry.
Though, I was aware of what was going on, I was not aware of the entirety of the situation. Regardless, of such I'd much rather have my head stuck in school than family at this point and time. However, I did contact the radiology doctor and they wanted to meet my doctor, as I consulted with my mother's side they thought it was best to do treatment after New Years. As it was going through my head, the doctor giving the diagnosis did not had a sense of urgency in his voice, which really did not cause me to be alarmed at first. Secondly, they wanted to consult with their primary physician whom I think is a complete quack. Which sums up to a wild goose chase, given that most of the paper work responsibility was left with my brother; which I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for this.
The last two days my grandfather wanted to be admitted, though he doesn't know how the hospital system works even after multiple explanation. They did not heed my suggestion of making appointments and they ended up waiting about 3 hours in the ER. They're still there now, I came home cause I got class at 9. Though, what troubled me was the knowledge the family had about my grandfather's condition. Apparently, bits and piece were misinterpreted and confusion grew. My cousin who was interpreting had no idea my grandfather had a tumor. In the end, I had to come in and the doctor was talking to me like an idiot for not scheduling appointments, what can I say? They wanted to do this after New Years, though I didn't know it was 6cm till he told me. If I knew I would had acted right upon hearing about it.
In summary, I dislike the medical system we have cause there was so much confusion going on between the week of Christmas and even now, in terms of his condition. My maternal side of the family lack any initiative and motivation. I'm probably half-heartedly as cold cause at this point I really don't care about this circus frenzy, I can't even think about what I'm doing at this point, let alone what I can do for people now.
-David M.
As of now he has evasive cancer, and I simply do not know what that means. I thought as least my whole maternal side of the family knows. Apparently there has been a huge miscommunication on my grandfather's condition, and I blame their sense of communication or their attentiveness to the previous hospital stay. Though, the tumor issue I did not found out till 3 weeks ago. My family themselves did not want to do anything till after Chinese New Years, I think is all cause of bad mojo or whatever; Chinese traditionalist can be very superstitious. Regardless as such, my grandfather has been having a harder time ingesting. Which, leads to tonight's entry.
Though, I was aware of what was going on, I was not aware of the entirety of the situation. Regardless, of such I'd much rather have my head stuck in school than family at this point and time. However, I did contact the radiology doctor and they wanted to meet my doctor, as I consulted with my mother's side they thought it was best to do treatment after New Years. As it was going through my head, the doctor giving the diagnosis did not had a sense of urgency in his voice, which really did not cause me to be alarmed at first. Secondly, they wanted to consult with their primary physician whom I think is a complete quack. Which sums up to a wild goose chase, given that most of the paper work responsibility was left with my brother; which I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for this.
The last two days my grandfather wanted to be admitted, though he doesn't know how the hospital system works even after multiple explanation. They did not heed my suggestion of making appointments and they ended up waiting about 3 hours in the ER. They're still there now, I came home cause I got class at 9. Though, what troubled me was the knowledge the family had about my grandfather's condition. Apparently, bits and piece were misinterpreted and confusion grew. My cousin who was interpreting had no idea my grandfather had a tumor. In the end, I had to come in and the doctor was talking to me like an idiot for not scheduling appointments, what can I say? They wanted to do this after New Years, though I didn't know it was 6cm till he told me. If I knew I would had acted right upon hearing about it.
In summary, I dislike the medical system we have cause there was so much confusion going on between the week of Christmas and even now, in terms of his condition. My maternal side of the family lack any initiative and motivation. I'm probably half-heartedly as cold cause at this point I really don't care about this circus frenzy, I can't even think about what I'm doing at this point, let alone what I can do for people now.
-David M.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
I Read People Too Well, or Just the Family
I was wondering why my normally lazy brother was working so hard these last two weeks. Though, I had it was a hunch it was probably a girl; it's always a girl. I was joking with my mother throughout the week about this.
In the last two days, he was given privileges to the car because I've been busy with school and I haven't been able to do any follow-ups for my grandfather besides the late afternoon one's which are very few. Besides the fact, he's been taking the car out for let's just say "joy rides" for a lack of a better word after he's done with whatever he does, and gets home around 3 in the morning. As concern parents go, they stay up and wait for him, and calling him in increments. When he arrives home, his only excuse is a dead battery on his phone; which seems to be the problem all the time.
So, last night while I was at Joyce's I get confirmation from my friend Lisa via text that my brother is out having dinner with a girl; I realize I have a spy network when I got the text, haha.
Being single for 20 years (going on 21) maybe I'm unable to relate with my brother, but I do not think a girl constitutes parents being worry about where their son; let alone an irresponsible one at that. Also, the fact that he abuses privileges given to him, in which my parents can easily revoke due to many broken trusts he has shown my parents. In my mind, is just really immature and irresponsible of him to take trust and use it for his own "gains". Though, I'm sure the frequent readers here don't know my brother as well and is a bit unprofessional to simply tell you to take my word on this. I just can't see how one can inflict such pain on those that unconditionally care for him, for someone he barely knows at all while filling her head with false stories only for it to eventually blow over.
-David M.
In the last two days, he was given privileges to the car because I've been busy with school and I haven't been able to do any follow-ups for my grandfather besides the late afternoon one's which are very few. Besides the fact, he's been taking the car out for let's just say "joy rides" for a lack of a better word after he's done with whatever he does, and gets home around 3 in the morning. As concern parents go, they stay up and wait for him, and calling him in increments. When he arrives home, his only excuse is a dead battery on his phone; which seems to be the problem all the time.
So, last night while I was at Joyce's I get confirmation from my friend Lisa via text that my brother is out having dinner with a girl; I realize I have a spy network when I got the text, haha.
Being single for 20 years (going on 21) maybe I'm unable to relate with my brother, but I do not think a girl constitutes parents being worry about where their son; let alone an irresponsible one at that. Also, the fact that he abuses privileges given to him, in which my parents can easily revoke due to many broken trusts he has shown my parents. In my mind, is just really immature and irresponsible of him to take trust and use it for his own "gains". Though, I'm sure the frequent readers here don't know my brother as well and is a bit unprofessional to simply tell you to take my word on this. I just can't see how one can inflict such pain on those that unconditionally care for him, for someone he barely knows at all while filling her head with false stories only for it to eventually blow over.
-David M.
Last Night...
Usually, parties that involve liquor I usually find to be dry because I'm usually just sitting there being sober, and everyone is shit faced for the most part. Though, I didn't drink at all, Joyce's birthday was pretty entertaining nonetheless. From Apples to Apples, Jeff basically down for the night before the night started, and just sitting was an enjoyable atmosphere; all the way till when the RAs came knocking and everyone scattered for a hiding spot. I still can't grasp why Tito was dancing without his shirt. I think last night was enough entertainment for me in one weekend.
-David M.
-David M.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Ominous Email
Lately, this has been the greatest mystery that erks my mind. On Wednesday I receive an email from my adviser Erin. It was addressed to some EV students and 2 of the EV profs. and a Graphic Designer prof. which is also the director of the department. The contents of the email consist of...
"Hello,
You are receiving this e-mail because you are listed as an Electronic
Visualization major. If this is incorrect, please let me know.
I am requesting that you meet with myself and a few others on Friday
January 30 at noon in 2410 A + A. This shouldn't take more than an
hour, but will be important.
I hope to see you then,
Erin"
Pretty vague isn't? I can't help, but think of the worse possible scenario of, "Sorry, we're pulling the plug on the program." Though I did talk to my professor Sabrina who was CC. In the email, all she said was don't worry about it, but would not disclose the purpose of the meeting. All I was told was is a "surprise" and there will be changes to the program. This is going to be one hell of a week.
-David M.
"Hello,
You are receiving this e-mail because you are listed as an Electronic
Visualization major. If this is incorrect, please let me know.
I am requesting that you meet with myself and a few others on Friday
January 30 at noon in 2410 A + A. This shouldn't take more than an
hour, but will be important.
I hope to see you then,
Erin"
Pretty vague isn't? I can't help, but think of the worse possible scenario of, "Sorry, we're pulling the plug on the program." Though I did talk to my professor Sabrina who was CC. In the email, all she said was don't worry about it, but would not disclose the purpose of the meeting. All I was told was is a "surprise" and there will be changes to the program. This is going to be one hell of a week.
-David M.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I Don't Think I'll Ever Dream Properly Again
Is nothing strange per say, but to be blunt about it. I was in class the other day and some of my classmates mentioned the movie, Paprika. Apparently is a very good movie and might I add, it is a really good movie. So, good I decided to dig up some Satoshi Kon films. So far, I've only watched Paprika and Perfect Blue. Both movies are great stories though they are what some consider "anime" movies, think of them more as animated features because they were both based off novels, and not graphic novels either. However, it was kind of strange to see both movies dealt with dream states. One about being able to go into dreams and analyze them. While, the other was a psychological thriller and it utilized the dream states to its full advantage. However, I don't think I'll have nightmares, but definitely it brings up interesting subjects about dreams. Rest assure, I will sleep well at night (I hope you get the pun)
-David M.
-David M.
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