Normally, when I'm down or thinking too much I usually have violent thoughts of me being beaten down and dragged around. To me, it's always been some strange mental relief system. Instead of harming myself physically I take it out on myself in a controlled environment; similar to when people pound their head to a wall.
Recently, I've been having these thoughts of me just evaporating, turning into steam. I don't know what's worse. Me wanting to dissipate or when I use to think of myself being beaten...
Maybe these two conditions are different...I'm not sure. Maybe after the next two weeks, I can breath a little.
-David M.
1 comment:
ok. the whole you getting beaten is so ...sad. i usually just hit the bag. This made me depressed. i mean. reading your post.
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