I would like to take a breather. A simple sigh would suffix, but I don't know what to take in at the moment. Things are definitely happening on all ends of the spectrum, but I digress, I don't know how to take it all in. With that said, let me paint a little picture for whomever stumbles upon this little den.
Lets start on the academia. Major wise I think I'm doing really good (no need to mope around here). I feel like I'm really demonstrating my potential and my greatest abilities in front of my professors, maybe not 3D modeling because I'm so drained at the end of the day, I find it almost impossible to stay awake in the room, but maybe is because the lights are always or the voice of my professor, though she is a great professor she is definitely not the most engaging one. Though, I wasn't expecting much out of my other EV class, I find the class to be almost therapeutic and a bit straining to my cranium, but nonetheless I find real time cooperation and problem solving to utilize my brain and to keep me engage.
Rolling over to my photo class, I think I'm on a see-saw on this one, I definitely do not know where I stand, though Craig is definitely one of the most interesting teachers I've had in a while, I don't know where I stand in that class, I could ask, but I don't know. The subjectivity of art has always been my greatest downfall because, is...well, really dam subjective, the ability to explore is great and all, but to be shot down completely through experimentation and to be graded on it is a really harsh concept, and the concept of the "hyper-real" does not really help me focus much either. Still an interesting class, but I really want to pull my weight in this class, and not seem like the BSing art student that I come to loathe freshmen year.
Though, I'm being utterly defeated in Music Theory, I think I'm finding my handle on the subject and I'm definitely trying to climb to the time. I should ask the professor where I stand in that class however. History of Design is well...moving on.
Now if you're still reading by now, I commend you. You're about to dive into a little bit of my personal life, whoa! Anyways, I always felt estranged to my family, I've never find myself to love my parents, but don't get the wrong message. I highly respect them for all they have done for me, and by all means I will stick with them till the end. Though sometimes I find my role in this family as nothing more than functional. Not so much within the family, but within the extended family. I do not see myself 3 years being around to fill out every application and translating every letter for them. They have other family members as young as me and as capable, but they still come to me. However, I have no issues talking and spending time with family members, but I find my extended family to be extremely shallow, though I did try to connect with them enthusiastically before, they never really did seem ecstatic about my efforts, but I'm still the person they talk to when anything relating to their personal well being comes into questions and lately I've just grown tired of it. Though, my immediate family I find that my parents have become more supportive of me lately, though they still have their own vices I feel like I'm at least providing some satisfaction in their life, and I guess it makes it all worth while.
Turns out one of my long time friend has been in the hospital for 2 weeks with pancreatitis, and apparently at one point his kidneys failed too. Though, that is the concerning part, the other part is, I haven't seen him on around for the last 2 weeks and I did not alarmed me to be concern at all. Though, there is not much I can do, there is a lot of people I haven't kept in touch with. My best wishes goes out to him.
With all that said, a Cold Winter is approaching I should be brace for it none the less, though all these issues in the end will resolve itself.
-David M.
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