More Reflections than a Broken Mirror

In this little social realm I like to call college, I have met impeding challenges and so far I have been able to face each encounter with satisfactory results (Asian satisfactory results I mind you). Though, I can't help but feel anxious whenever a new challenge arises, could it be that this obstacle will be the one to snuff me out, and down for the count? or is this some sadistic torture I like to put myself through in order to stay focus. This past week I've stayed on campus till 10pm on Tuesday and 7 the following day, and I end at 7 on Thursday, and after all that I find myself in front of my desk slaving away? Though it turned out the midterm wasn't so bad, at least I hope I didn't do bad. However, those were not the only hurdles I had to put myself through this week, though lets say that was the bulk.

This week, will prove to be another funtastic adventure, though I got most of the obstacles out of the way, I still have a lot of things to go through this week, but it seems more feasible now (maybe cause I spent my whole weekend on it, and nothing else.) Though hopefully, I figure out this EV assignment by tomorrow and I'll be a happy camper.

I find it funny how I always complain about school life when is never that bad, at least I can get through it. However, I find myself conflicted with myself. I've been told I'm not a bad person, but why do I keep thinking I'm a bad person? This social cues have been playing in my head and I never seem to act upon them because I always come back to the same conclusion, I'm awkward, but when I tell people this, they think I'm too critical of myself because I'm really not that "awkward." Then why do I usually find myself conflicting with other's say? Do I have an alter ego or that I just can't see myself in any other light? (For those that are reading, I'm not schizophrenic or depressed) Just sometimes I really don't know what kind of person I am, and what I am doing is really benefiting the people around me or hurting them.

I don't know why I think these things, but for some reason I think I'm going to end up like one of those workaholic type of guys that will live a relatively successful hermit life. Also, on a lighter note I'm starting to write again, and hopefully start putting together, some beautiful mental images for people to read soon.

-David M.